IN THE DISTANT CORNER...

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 22:18:06 GMT

I Have Moved.

hmm...

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 18:14:50 GMT

*Edit* dont comment and you're deleted. :)

Sun, 04 Sep 2005 15:42:02 GMT

i dont think anyone else is going to ask me what i think about this hurricane madness....i actually think that if they are smart, they wont even bring it up in front of me. Some people had to lern the hard way not to bring it up or ask me cause, in the end of our little talk, they got their feelings hurt. but, they will be ok. they need to get out of theor closed minded shell anyway. And i am just waiting for one of those redneck idiots at my school to say something about it cause, i have been waiting for a chance to crush one of their egos for a real long time! but, other than that and, something else that i was thinking about while reggie was talking, church was good. Everyone was happy to see me and i was like "yay" cause i really miss going to fwc. Im going to their youth tonight too. I didnt go to the 11 o clock service cause that would be crowded and i went to the nin o clock one and yeah, there were kinda a lot of people. I think it wasnt a really good idea for me to go though cause now, i miss it even more. but, i guess i am supposed to be at abundant life and im going with "his" flow soo, i will just be missing my church forever.

I am going swimming today. I havent been able to go in a while but, i can now and im going! i think i will do a 400 cause i have a lot of energy. Im going to have karisma time me so that i can see what i need to work on. I know my strokes are gonna be kinda rusty but, im all good. Now that i can swim, i wish my school had a swim team but just like tennis, they dont have one. Geez! stupid redneck school, all they have is baseball and softball. well, they have other stuff like...idk. i just want to mention softball and baseball cause, those are redneck sports. and yeah, im in a "i cant stand rednecks!" mood now so, pardon me. *No offense robyn* i think i need to go now. i have to hurry up and get this 400 done so i can wash my hair and then straighten it again or, i surely will not be going to church. lol. jk. adioz!

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 23:17:02 GMT

Watching you with her is like watching a child play with a loaded gun. Only difference is you’re not having fun. All I am left to do is be sorry…for what I know is going to happen. This is ruining me and it doesn’t even faze you. I have tried to convince myself that I’m overreacting but now, I’m sure that’s not true…those are my thoughts of that..kinda….idk w/e.

Well, other than that, I’m “yay!”. I figure that, since i cant doing anything about my life being heck, why not try and make "heck" a better place. let me remind you that heck is heck not hell. hell will never be a better place....btw.lol.

*Im in a really good mood so, if you want to ask me to do something, now is your chance….yep, u missed your opportunity. JK. I just found out Brittany has an lj. So, if you notice that I stop talking about her, you know why. Lol. Jk. Im going to go talk to all my peoples now. Adios!

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 21:05:44 GMT

I might be dj'n the bts dance on fri. lol. Ms. cullins had to be really desperate even though, i kinda screamed "i can do it" when brent said he couldnt cause he is going to night of joy. My church isnt kewl enough to go to night of joy lol. but, i bet they would go to rock the universe. them and their "rock based" worship team. sometimes they shock my...sometimes, i suspect the things they say, just not that i guess...idk. Im going to leave that alone though cause, this is a "happy" entry. joy....lol, i know a girl named joy. she is funny. buh bye.

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 21:51:24 GMT

Im not going to the back to school dance, I don’t think I am going to the ropes course either. I d k. depends on if im over it or not which, I will most likely not be because that is just wrong and, It always will be. Just cause you think it is ok, and you can get over it doesn’t mean I have to. I think I will hold on to it in your place since you have mistakingly forgotten it happnedI think I have a test in kuhnert tomorrow. I don’t know. I know for a fact though that I have a vocab quiz in loranger. That is going to be easy cause, I actually studied cause, I was bored….really bored.

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 00:53:27 GMT

My Gma said I couldn’t go to church tonight. I wanted to go because I don’t want to miss church since I am on leadership but, I think I should drop out of leadership because of what’s going on. I tried to drop out of it before but, for some reason that I don’t even know of, I ended up back in it. I love doing it and being involved and everything but, it’s not fair to other people who are able to be there every time the doors are open…idk. My head still kind of hurts and I still can’t find my glasses. I haven’t even looked for them because, I don’t care, and I wish I didn’t have to wear them. I also wish I was in perfect health, things happen and there has to be some odd retrospective reason as to why. Sometimes…no, all the time when I think about it all, I can’t help but just get mad at the world. I was especially thinking about it today when I had to eat three freaking granola bars! I hate this! But, there is a reason. O my goodness, there better be a reason reason.

My head hurts so badly and you know what, there is nothing I can do about it. That sucks. But, there is a reason. Right? Right!

My Gma told me she was sorry. That is the first time in my life she has ever apologized and I actually thought she meant it. It’s weird though cause, I know she meant it but, it meant nothing.

I wonder why every time someone apologizes to me with *maybe* all their heart, I can’t feel it and, no matter how hard I try, I can’t forgive them. I do have an issue with forgiveness though that I need to get straightened out. I actually, have a lot but, I can’t even do it so, it was a waste of my time to even mention it.

Now, I shall go talk to my peoples. Adios!

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 19:00:54 GMT

i knew she would and then i knew you would. cause you always do.
end of that.
My head hurts to a diff degree today. and my gma told me it was my fault that some one in my family died of heart problems. she told me that this morning at the bus stop and i cried as a just stepped out the car and stood there trying to dwell upon the thought of if she was right or not. i dont understand why she does this to me. I almost let it get to me but, i had to "shake it off". and now, im just pink.* Adioz.

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 20:53:37 GMT

I felt like i was about to fall out in first today so, i ate a granola bar that was naturally sweetened with honey. It was hard and crunchy. I dont like crunchy granola bars but, i had to eat it so, i did. When i got home today, i checked my sugar and yeah, i really dont like that continually beeping noise but, things happen. nothing else is worth talking about that i can think of now so, im gonna stop now. adioz!

missing you.

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 19:17:43 GMT

It hurts to know you’re gone.

And it’s worse to know it’s my fault.

I miss you and I love you.

I just want that one last chance to tell you that.

I just want that one last chance to tell you about all the good times.

About all the times that I really had fun even when I tried not to.

I want to take back all the words I said as I remember every word you said.

When you thought I wasn’t listening, I was.

When you thought I didn’t care, I cared the most.

I want you back here with me.

Or maybe, I can just be there with you.

I want us to be together. That’s all.

Today seems to be the hardest day of them all.

~why?~

Fri, 26 Aug 2005 20:28:26 GMT

well, not only can i laugh at roni's mishap yesterday, but kayla bout busted her butt*LOL* and markeesha*lol* now knows that crack kills.ha. lol. i was laughing so hard, my "abs" started hurting. i needed that too. i was like yesss!
well, i was going to sing at the vb game today but, i have to go to the freaking doctor cause i have to get a check up to see if im doing better from tues. i cant stand the doctor! i hate having to go! but, i will get over it. adioz!

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 20:28:27 GMT

Today, I was very irritable. I was in so much pain it was stupid. I think I was about to throw the freking table at Brandon in chemistry but, instead of doing that, I simply said some words that I shouldn’t have. Im not singing for a week. I cant run for a month but, I will anyway. I don’t care if it kills me cause, I haven’t been running so, I have been doing something else.

I have to wash my long sleeve shirt today. That way I can wear it tomorrow.

I have math homework. Yay me.

Im really missing my mom right now, I just want some one to talk to I guess. I don’t know. I need to get right but, idk. Good bye.

*roni dove across the floor...it was funny. ha.*

Wed, 24 Aug 2005 18:08:40 GMT

thought i was ok, but im not.

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:59:05 GMT

i was typing a very long entry a while ago in the midst of my homework and talking to people when my computer decided to go to sleep. its all aol's fault. that is all i am going to say now. buh bye.

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 22:07:00 GMT

well, i have officially qualified for the insanity plea. i just called ashlee's house and asked for kenna. phew!im a slow one. but, lucky me, im quick on words so, i was like jk jk. lol. im so slow. ,my brain is dead. i dont even know how to use it anymore. omg. i cant believe this. i think i am mad. im not sure. but, that was kinda funny i have to admit. she was like, this is ashlee...i think. i dont even remember. dangit. i cant stand this. o my goodness. this is stupid. i think all my days of calling people slow are starting to haunt me....idk.
i just decided to share that in here cause, i feel dumb and i cant stop laughing but, thats a diff story actually. im just happy that didnt happy to me in the case of two guys cause, that woul have been bad!. well, thats all for now. gots to go to monday meeting. adioz!

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 21:18:03 GMT

lol. my camera is nice and small..i like it for that. who cares if the pics are crappy.lol.

i will take more pics on monday.

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 20:57:03 GMT

my new name is off_your_list it looks crappy and plain cause i havent fixed it up yet but, i will try and get to that tonight. right now, i have to go to work!

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 19:51:27 GMT

im getting a new name. again. im not sure what i want it to be though cause, i really like this one. maybe i will make it ...idk.

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 02:50:57 GMT

ok, i got a camera and, i cant get the pics to come out right. i think it is on sepia cause all of them look brown..idk. it isnt all that good but, i wanted a diff one but it was sold out so, i got this one. it is small and i like that fact.

i was so tired today i was sleep like all day. this morning on the bus i went to sleep and then in the afternoon, i went to sleep and then, when i got home, i went to sleep and then, i woke up at like 6:00 and found out my tavezia was in critical condition at the hospital. then , i went to church and i was late and i forgot my glasses and my gma yelled at me and i was about ready to punch her in the face. and then she went home and got m glasses and told me to wear them and i only wore them for like two secs after she pulled off and i took them off. then i had to put them back on cause i sat in the back and i couldnt see the projection. then my head started hurting.

i didnt sing today cause i was late and josh was like, did you want to? and i didnt know how to answer that so i just told him i would talk to him later. i wonder why i always do that. everytime i dont know what to say, i always say i will talk to you later but, i never do. i think i did that to a few people today. i know i did it to brittany and she remembers it too. well, thats all good bye

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 02:33:26 GMT

i am surely not going to sing tomorrow in church. i dont think that i am "right" to sing right now. i dont think a lot of the people up there are but, im not a hypicritical ype of person so, i cant sing. i dont even want to go to church tomorrow. and, i cant go to the softball meeting tomorrow cause, that will just make matters worse. i went to the doctors today and yeah, i dont like my doctor. he has no hope at all. he always has to give me the bad news of everything. i hate that, i already do that to myself. do i really need someone else to do that. i didnt take any of that crap he told me i had to take and he said thats why i have been so faintish. and then he started stressing that i could eat and then my gma started flipping out. i never want to go with her anywhere again! she is such a mad case and it drives me insane. she takes all the bad out of things without thinking about the good. o yeah, my doctor told me that i could try and go out for basketball and stuff, but my physical wouldnt pass. i was like wtf? i hate my like. and yeah, thats why i cant sing....that and what i did when i got home. but that isnt going to be talked about until it never happens again. i thought i was done with that, but im not...o well. things happen and its all good.well, adioz.

i still love you.

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 20:23:41 GMT

well. they called all the softball players to the front af the school. we took a trip to the elem. and they gave us these things that i dont know what to call them and i felt like melting knowing that it was the last thing that i would ever accept with my softball team. well, i didnt cry and that a good thing. yay me! well, im going to cut this short cause i think i just had my heart slashed out. goodbye.

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 20:42:26 GMT

Ok, I think I could say that I had an ok day today.
My head wasn’t hurting that much until after I got on the bus. Luckily I sat with my bestest buddy and she made me fill much better. lol….then she moved and I was sad.
I got a d on my math quiz. And yeah, I think I could say that its my first d in math but, I think I always say that. I deserved it though. I only got one day of review not notes and then I was supposed to study but I didn’t, cause im a loser like that. Now im a loser who doesn’t study and I get bad grades. That’s a good rep for me…not. I like math…I just need to study I guess…I hope.
I couldn’t get anything in mr. massung’s class so I moved to the very middle and front. I think that now I have the rep of a true loser in that class….o well. Lol. I might b a loser in his class, but at least I am learning something. I turned in mr romeys paper today. I wonder what his comments are gonna be. Lol. I let eva read it and she said that it sounded as if I were…nvm.
I want to get my hair done today but, im not sure if I should. Im not sure how either cause, im a loser like that. I got kinda down today when they announced basketball today cause I cant play. I got all the way down when people out of no where kept on telling me about the softball meeting on Wednesday, im really going to miss them and everything. Geez, my eyes are watering now so, im going to stop with that now, I want to get better, that’s all I want…..just let me get better. Well, that’s all for now, I better go before my good day turns bad cause im dumb.

Adios!

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 02:10:22 GMT

well, i found my headphones and all is well now. i was gonna go to the store and get me some more but, when i got near the door, i decided to look in my bookbag and behold, there they were not. but, i looked under my bookbag and there they were!lol. i have to get my uncle something for his birthday. i guess i will get him a laser leveler cause he doesnt have one that works cause he dropped it like a loser.lol. im going to do karisma's hair in blue highlights maybe. i dont know if she is allowed to wear that to school but, if not i will do red.
i have to eat grapes now, and, im not liking that all. i probably wont do it, but, i was just stating that to infigure that i was supposed to...i wonder if thats a word. i tend to make up my own words when im talking lol. its just not enough words for my vocabulary out there i guess. lol. well, im going to go now cause, i have to call bryan back cause, he called me earlier. i dont think i should but, i will just cause im a loser like that. adioz.

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 05:50:20 GMT

I worked today.
one to ten and yeah, laura came by and we talked. talking to her is nice. she is great. she is always folding towels with me when she comes to my job. it is funny cause, she does more work than i do.lol. i got chocolate on my shirt today after she left and i went on break. so then, i had to buy a whole new outfit. im going to wash it tonight and wear it to church tomorrow. i need to find shoes to match though. i was stretching it when i wore black shoes with pink and grey. it wasnt really, a pink. it was more like a fuschia color. i dont know. before that, i had on a light pink blouse with my emergency pants that i only wear when im running out of time to iron my clothes or something. i dont like them though cause, idk. i dont like clothes. but anyway, i got these grey pants with grey in them and little black that cost 58 dollars. i think i picked the only thing in my store that wasnt on sale. they are kewl though for what they are. they are dressy so, i can where them to church and that is kewl cause, i dont wear skirt anymore and i need some more pants. but there is one prob, i dont feel like going shopping for any. i like picking stuff out, but finding my size is a hassle cause, i have a weird body and on top of that, i like my stuff to fit a certain way. o yeah, that reminds me. i was talking to my psychologist the other day about my size and i was telling her about what size i wear and then i was comparing myself to other people snd yeah, neway. i was like, they can fit into a size three and she was like, no they cant. and i was like yeah they can and so forth and so on. point being is, that she was saying just cause they can wear that sixe, doesnt mean it fits. it was funny to me at the time but, now that im typing it, its not that funny nemore....o well. im listening to im not okay by my chemical romane and, i just like this song...a lot. well, my gma just got the cover to my cd and she is trippin about the titles of the songs. I DONT CARE! I think i just made her made though, cause she said she thought i changed. i was like do you expect to be ok and normal despite what i am going through. she is really making me sick. i am freakin tired of getting yelled or just mad at. especially by people like jaquese. that is just stupid as heck but, we will not go there right now. but, i made today a good day..kinda. all these emotions coming to me are just ticking me off. but, its ok cause i have church tomorrow. i am definetly ready for church. i need to get out of this atmosphere...speaking of getting out of atmospheres, if we were in the fighting status of a friendship no more, would you come to my job just to see me cry?yeah well, i know of someone who should take notes on that. love you and goodbye

4 hours later...i started and finished mr romey's four simple questions. he better read it all too. after mine, he is gonna start giving us a word
1. There are many things that I could use as evidence of my true colors personal test. My strongest color, I would strongly believe was green. For me, everything has to have an answer and a reason. Me being the color green relates to my educational experience basically because green is all about education. I love being educated and asking questions. I understand that a lot of people are scared to ask questions in class, and the fact that I am not scared to ask questions fades into my second strongest color. My second color is orange. Orange people to me, just live life to the fullest with no sense of responsibility what so ever. I do that to an extent. I live life to the fullest but yet, I make plans in ahead of time and I think everything through. Thinking things through and making plans ahead of time are the qualities of the color gold. Gold is my third color. After I make sure I have fun (orange), and develop ways to have fun(green), and think of how I will get this done and on time, I dwell on the thoughts of who it will affect. This happens to be the trait of my last color, which is blue. In my perspective, the reason why blue is my last color, is because all of my other qualities add up to blue. I simply do everything to help others. I am the type of person who is never in it for self, but does all for others. I am ordinarily described as a people person. 2. Different people, who I have come in contact with, have described me just as that one kid who sings all the time. I am not exactly sure what other people view me as other than that. Although, I do know what people I have problems with perceive me as. I would say that they think of me as a person who has a problem with authority and stubborn. An example of me portraying these characteristics would be in the situation of Mrs. Zitro. Mrs. Zitro had a huge problem with me from the moment I met her. She was the typical person that had to prove their authority and when you wouldn’t concave to the idea that they were almighty, they would simply portray you as their enemy. I believe that the reason why I didn’t get along with this person was because one of my personality traits clashed with theirs because in the human connection system, unlike math you can’t add like terms because they always turn out to be negative. In saying this, I mean that they were stubborn and had a personal authority problem. On the other hand, a person that I get along with and respect very highly would be Hunter. Hunter is just a good person all around and I get along great with them. Their personality traits are that they are very nice and they don’t have a problem humbling themselves. Actually, I believe that they humble themselves too much but, that’s just my opinion about it. 3. My strongest color is green. The plus of being green is that I like to learn which is very helpful in school. Although, there is a negative in being a green. Due to the fact that I am a very strong green, it is very hard for me to have faith. I need everything to be proved. For this same reason, I almost made a “c” in geometry. In geometry it is very hard to prove things and explain why they are. For me to understand anything clearly, I have to have the reasoning behind it. Therefore, when report cards come out and I don’t have all “A’s”, I will just blame it on my true colors. 4. If I could change one of my personality traits, I would change the fact that I care about everyone and everything they do. Although blue is my last color, I care about everyone a lot and most times too much. I get my feelings hurt a lot because I surround my every move with the thoughts of others and sometimes I think that I should start thinking about what is good for me and not everyone else. 5. Understanding “who” I am and how people who are closed minded people judge me, is very interesting. I would usually say that this information is relevant because it makes you realize how people perceive you and the things you do but, not this time. I thought about my answer to this question for a while because at first I was going to give the answer that I though was going to be right but, there is no right and wrong because this is supposed to be a personal personality exercise. Hence, here is my answer to number five. * I believe that this information on the description of different people is highly irrelevant because there is no way to describe a person by color or even simply to describe them in words. Every one is different and it is unfair to the human society to judge. “Judge ye not!” Describing people by colors is simply an example of how people of today have decided to take it into their own hands and put a label of everyone and as a 17 year old living in America which happens to be the land of the free,” I will not stand for the madness!” but I will still turn in all the work that is assigned to me in order to get the proper grade

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Sun, 14 Aug 2005 04:27:49 GMT